It's a beautiful day!

Ah, such a beautiful day today. It's funny, last week it was snowing and today it's 70 and sunny. Hmmm...no complaining here, though.

I haven't made a post in a few days, so why not now with a heavy dose of my morning coffee?

I don't really have any news that I care to comment on, so I'll just babble.

The question I've been asked a lot is: what made you a feminist? To that, I can't offer some specific turning point in my life when I woke up one day and said, "I know! Let's try out feminism!". It was nothing like that. I was privileged enough to be brought up by liberal parents that always made sure I knew that different was okay. Sometimes, I like to call my mom a feminist, though I doubt she would self-identify with that label. Regardless, she definitely laid the ground work for me to become the activist I am today.

Since I can remember, the big thing that she stressed to be was that to be gay was okay; it was not a choice, but biology. One time, in 3RD GRADE (that's like 8 years old, people) my teacher told the class that homosexuality was a choice. I knew better and the next day my mom loaded me up with articles to take to my teacher so that I could argue my case. I will never forget that day. Everyone in class made fun of me and called me a lesbian simply because I was fighting for something I knew was wrong. Now, I was in 3rd grade, so of course it bothered me to get picked on for simply doing what I felt was right, but somehow I knew it was worth it. Let's flash-foward a bit....

I was engaged at an early age (18!). Call it a mistake, call it naive, call it dumb, but it changed my life in more ways than one. I was engaged to my high school sweetheart. Where I am from, it's southern and conservative. After high school you're supposed to get married and have babies. Not to say that there weren't people who constantly broke that mold, but the mindset of many was focused on being a housewife. Looking back, it's funny, because I almost fell into that hole. After I graduated high school (we got engaged shortly after) and began growing mentally, I was looking for ways to define myself. Who was I? I made the mistake of defining myself by my fiance, by my significant other. I was okay not being Erin, but rather so-and-so's fiance. I didn't have much of an identity outside of him. In my sophomore year of college we ended it and I was left feeling lost and confused. That's the damaging part of tying your identity to others: when they leave, you have no real sense of self. I didn't know who I was or how to define myself. 


For no other reason rather than to gain credit hours for school, I picked up Intro to Women Studies the semester after we broke up. I loved the professor (spunky, spunky, spunky!), I loved the material, and I loved being around the people interested in that stuff. I continued to take other WGST/WMST classes. I will save the sappiness of when I found the professor that changed my life, changed my thoughts, and provided me all the tools I now have to assess woman's issues, but there definitely was an amazing professor within the program that I owe the world to. Thank you, Lorelei. 


What made me fall in love with feminism, aside from the fabulous professor, was that I finally felt that I had something to define myself by. I had an identity and it was as a woman, not as someone's woman. Everything about feminism is liberating. We have better sex, we are more empowered, we have higher aspirations, we aren't as restricted, and we fight for YOU. I don't see feminism as just for women. Men need to realize that what we fight for will help break the gender roles men are forced into, too. Because quite frankly, men may have a lot of power, but there are also dangerous gender roles for men that are contributing to a larger reality, such as the rape culture and domestic violence. Men are being taught that they must be big, strong, emotionless, a provider, macho, etc, etc, etc. It must be exhausting to have to put on a "tough-guise" (Thank you, Jackson Katz!) every day. But it doesn't have to be that way. Since I have become a feminist I am much happier. I am not going to fall into the trap of being a housewife, I don't feel like shit when I'm looking through a beauty magazine, I can recognize what is REALLY being said about women (And it's not pretty, ya'll.), I don't like pink just because I'm told I should, I don't put up with sexist stereotypes, I care less about what the world thinks about me, I sure as hell don't define myself by the man I am with, and did I mention feminist have better sex?

Since then, I have found a wonderful boyfriend who accepts me as a feminist, which can be hard for men. I'm not generalizing, just saying. Men can be intimidated by the power I take (no one is ever given power, you must take it). But he supports each and every thing I do...and he is usually right by my side through it. He gave me the encouragement to protest against a local restaurant that offered an offensive drink ("Roofie Bomb", really?!), he wore a "Got Feminism?" shirt with me when we both went to hear Gloria Steinem speak (My life is complete, by the way.), he speaks out when he hears sexist rhetoric...he's fabulous. But, I feel like what Justin and I have is completely different than what my ex-fiance and I had. I am able to appreciate Justin because I am not tied to him; he does not define me. He is not my identity, but rather someone who is helping make my identity more....ME. The truth is, he helped me become the feminist I am today by showing me my individuality and encouraging it. 


So all in all, I thank my mom, my boyfriend, and my professor for who I am today. My life could have seriously taken a wrong turn, but it didn't. I can't help but to believe it was because I am destine to help women, speak out, learn more every day, and teach others to do the same. Oh, and never get engaged at 18. Just don't do it.