Thing I've learned....

I just wanted to recap on the things I’ve learned this decade:

1. It’s important to understand and accept the importance of suffering as a natural fact of human existence. With that being said, far too often we create/further our own suffering by replaying injustices over and over, victim blaming, and simply keeping the pain alive. None of this changes the situation or the reality; it only feeds into hatred and anger. To accept the suffering and grow from it is to be at peace with it, but to allow it to fester and grow will only cause you more intense pain. You will destroy your own peace of mind.

2. Life is not fair. Period. The feeling of “unfairness” can fuel a powerful flame, it can distract, it can consume us; none of which leaves much energy left to constructively repair the original issue.

3. I hold onto things for way too long: friendships, relationships, grudges, material things, emotions. For a long time I didn’t know why I couldn’t let these things go. I now believe and understand that I hold onto these things because I am resistant to change, which in turn causes part of my suffering. The more I resist change, the more I will suffer, because life will never be static, it is impermanent. But that is why I hold on. I'm scared.

4. Your parents are the most static thing in your life. Don’t ever forget that or take advantage of it. I’ve talked about change and how quickly people and things can come in and out of our life, but for most of us lucky enough, our parents are the only static thing in our life. They will be your key to your past, present, and future. Love them and respect them. You will suffer terrible guilt and regret if you don’t. Trust me; I know. I’ve been asked quite a few times, “If you could change or take back anything, what would it be?”, and I always respond the same way, “I would change how I treated my parents when I was younger.” It embarrasses me and saddens me that I even have to say that.

5. Enemies are a vicious cycle, if you allow it. We all have them. No, you’re not an angel. Let’s be real. When I was in high school I spent a LOT of wasted time on drama and enemies. (This is the part I am least proud of.) It became a battle of who could top who; who could hurt the other the most. I’m going to refer to the Dalai Lama for this one. He states, “Generally speaking, of course, we do not wish good things for our enemies. But even if your enemy is made unhappy through your actions, what is there for you to be so joyful about? If you think about it carefully, how can there by anything more wretched than that? Carrying around the burden of such feelings of hostility and ill will. And do you really want to be that mean?” I love Dalai Lama for this exact reason. If both parties expend all of their energy trying to make the other suffer (which almost always turns into a vicious cycle), then both parties are miserable and the whole purpose of life is completely lost. If someone say something about you that’s not true, who cares? No one really; except for you. After all, if people are trying to bring you down, nothing puts you on the same level as them as quickly as allowing them to succeed in their mission of making you upset.

6. Convert your Anger. In addition to wasting time on enemies, I was a very angry person for a while. I had what I called “uncontrollable” anger (I now laugh at people who say they have an “anger problem“/“uncontrollable anger“, because all I hear from you is, “I‘m not emotionally or mentally strong enough to control myself or my emotions). I was mad a lot and I let my temper ALWAYS get the best of me, saying things I didn’t mean, hurting people I loved, and creating a lot more problems than what initially triggered my anger. As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned the true power and success that can come from controlling and converting your anger. Buddhism tells us to convert our anger into two things: patience and tolerance. “Now there are many, many people in the world, but relatively few with whom we interact, and even fewer who cause us problems. So when you come across such a chance for practicing patience and tolerance, you should treat it with gratitude...you should be happy and grateful towards your enemy for providing that precious opportunity.” If you follow this mentality, I promise you peace. I find it almost exciting when I receive the opportunity to turn my negative energy and anger into something constructive. Anger can consume us, by not allowing my anger to control me, I feel in control of myself and so peaceful , even during an argument. There are also some pretty obvious pros: you don’t hurt people, you don’t say things you don’t mean, you will feel more in control, and sorry, Dalai Lama, but it does give you a bit of superiority over the other person, because you are staying cool and collected, suggesting your emotions are not taking control of you or making you irrational, and more importantly, it also shows that what someone is saying and doing does not have a big enough effect on you for you to get angry. Because really, there is a lot of truth in the saying "thin line between love and hate". It takes just as much time, emotion, and energy to hate someone as it does to love someone.

7. Memories are just that: an organism's ability to store, retain, and recall information. The important part to this statement is that it is dependent on your and your mind; your ABILITY. Things aren’t always how we remember them. Don’t let memories live your life. I did this for a while. We often imagine things as a lot better than they were. Don’t trick yourself.

8. It doesn’t matter what you weigh, how much you eat, what size clothing you wear, if there is a disconnect between self and body, you WILL BE UNHAPPY. Point blank. You will waste a lot of time and emotion working on a body that has been trained to be disconnected from your mind. We already live in a society that almost encourages us to view our bodies as separate from our minds and self. We humanize body parts with dangerous rhetoric that only solidifies our beliefs that our bodies and minds are not one in the same. The result is that your wants and needs are silenced. If you think that if you achieve some “golden weight” and you’ll be happy, you’re in for a terrible surprise ending. A healthy mind is a healthy body and vice versa. Think of your body as a temple and treat it as so.

9. Love isn’t always enough. I think people get confused about love, what it is, and its role in our lives. Call me a pessimist, but there is no such thing as fairy tale love. Say what you want, but you are lying to yourself if you say there is, and frankly, no one believes you. Fairy tale love is often confused: it’s simply lust in its rawest form. Love takes work, fairy tales do not. It’s not easy. And it’s not always enough. There are a lot of things that go into loving someone and making it work. It’s sad that love isn’t always enough, but it’s the reality. You need trust, timing, compatibility, loyalty, communication, etc. But I really hate that there are people out there looking for movie love. You won’t find it and even if you do, you need a lot more than that to make it work.

10. Do one good thing a day. I have nothing profound to say about this. Just do it. You will feel good about yourself, good about our world, and good about tomorrow. It often sounds so cliché that people don’t really assess the importance of doing one good deed. But think, what would our world look like if everyone did one good thing for someone a day? The possibilities are endless. And hell, maybe nothing good comes from your good deed, but when I rest my head on my pillow at the end of the day, I like knowing that I attempted. I’d rather the a part of the solution than a part of the problem.

11. Don’t believe everything you hear. 95% of things you hear have not been fact checked and are a result of rumor or speculation. Like my 95% statistic, for instance, I totally made that up. But really, there are a lot of lies and rumors that fly around daily, please don’t be a sheep. Take a second to research and find out if what you’re hearing is a truth. For an example, there is a rumor circulating that President Obama is the first US President in history to not lay a wreath at Arlington National Cemetery on Memorial Day. When I saw this, I knew better than to believe it. Sure enough, in about 30 seconds I had my answer. This is in fact a FALSE statement. While yes, it is true that Obama is scheduled to honor America’s fallen heroes with a speech at Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery near Chicago, he is NOT the first president to miss the wreath laying on Memorial Day. ACTUALLY, in 2002 Bush was in France on Memorial Day, his father, George H. W. Bush, didn’t attend a single ceremony during all FOUR years of office term, and Reagan missed four of the eight wreath-laying ceremonies during his term. You see, facts change situations. It’s time for people to start taking responsibility of the things they say and it starts with understanding the implications of lies and researching to make sure you are getting an accurate story.

12. Our language is powerful. To change our language is to change our possibilities.  If you want results, start with your rhetoric and language.

13. Control who you are, don’t let who you are control you. This kind of goes along with the anger bit. Be in control of yourself and I promise you that you will have A LOT fewer regrets and guilt.

14. Weird friends are better than ”normal” friends. I don’t even really know what "normal" means anymore, seriously, but you know what I mean. I tend to be drawn to people who are “different” or what some call weird. Those people are the closest to real you will ever get. I don’t like normal/generic, because that’s not real, it‘s just a show, and adaptation to media and society. Weird is real and you will find that you can connect with those people better than any superficial friend you have. I even have some friends who go beyond weird into the realm of oddity, but you know what, I love them that much more. Those people remind me daily not to worry so much about what’s normal or what’s acceptable. And after all, who wants to fit in? It’s really quite funny, we spend out whole childhood trying to “fit in” and then our whole adult life trying to “stand out”. Be weird, be different, be you. I know I sound like Oprah right now, but it’s so true. Oh, and when I say “weird“, I attach NO negative connotation. I’m weird and I enjoy it. No one controls of dictates my actions, words, or emotions. I'm not intimidated or worried by anyone's perception.

15. And finally, the hardest thing I have realized this decade: It doesn’t matter how passionately you believe something, not everyone will believe the same thing. I used to get really angry at people for not agreeing with my opinions (especially my feminist ones). But diverse opinions and diverse people are the spice of life. We depend on diversity to make each person count. It gives everyone agency. If we all thought and said the same thing then no one would matter except the elite few, and we all know what happens when those situations comes about (COUGHnazisCOUGHgenocide). I’ve really only learned to respect and value people's differing opinions in the past couple of years. But the people who disagree with me are the very people that allow my opinion to matter. Diversity drives our world and allows for new, better ideas to constantly take over lesser ideas. Appreciate that.

Such a cruel world...

I’m going to try and keep my composure as I write this but it’s going to be hard for me and I am going to state that right off the bat.

I was recently on facebook when a “fan page” came to my attention. The name you ask? "Rihanna wants a rude boy...Didnt she get her ass whooped by one already?"

WHAT. THE. FUCK? Why is this funny? Why is this a group? I went to the page PRAYING there would be comments about the offensive nature of the page (there were few), but to my surprise, people think this is funny. Even WOMEN are making comments about how this is funny and she deserved it. Are you kidding me, world? How are women supposed to fight to end domestic violence when we have other women condoning it and making a joke out of it. Why, oh why, do people find others' pain to be humorous? Heaven forbid a woman have an abortion, but when women (you know, living, breathing HUMANS) are raped and beaten it’s funny, acceptable, and deserved? Please someone tell me I’m not the only one who thinks this is seriously fucked?

I fight for women every day of my waking life and I will continue to do that until I die, but sometimes this world makes me feel so jaded. I get angry with God for putting me in such a cruel world where society finds humor in other people’s pain, at other people’s expense. It’s appalling and sometimes I just think, “why was I put in a world like this?” I know that the answer to that question is that I was put here to try and make a difference and change the world, but in my weakest moment, it’s hard to remember that. I feel like I’m fighting an endless war. It gets hard to invest your WHOLE heart and life into a cause only to know that there will always be people out there like that. I feel like it’s me against the world some days. But like I’ve already stated, I will NEVER give up or stop fighting against domestic violence; I want change more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. I want these jokes to not be okay, I want abuse to not be okay, I don’t want to live in a world like this. It’s so utterly sad. When did everyone become so cold?

This is the first break down I’ve ever really had with my activism. I can handle a lot of messed up shit. I can understand the psychology of why women take back their abusers, I know the mental reasons men abuse women (control), but what I can’t handle is all the other people. The people who make all the pain victims suffer a joke. The people who think this is tolerable. It’s the coldness and bitterness I see from other humans. I mean, even the abusers in domestic violence cases go through a “honeymoon” phase when they feel regret for what they have done. The creators and fans of this facebook “fan page” doesn’t even feel that much. Sigh.

It makes my soul cry, but it only reminds me that my work/activism is never done. If anything, today I realized that I should be fighting a lot harder and to never let myself think I can settle back.

Body Image and Size-ism.

In my attempts to procrastinate finishing my Statement of Purpose for graduate school applications, I decided a blog would be much more fun to write. Ahhh, gotta love the internet and it’s wonderful powers.

Yesterday my best friend had the lap band surgery. To my surprise, she was awake, chipper, and in a extremely happy disposition not long after the procedure. This has been a long and tedious journey for her that I don’t think enough people fully appreciate. 


I always considered Becky a confident and strong person and I’m only realizing now that there were deeper issues at hand. I feel selfish as a friend for not recognizing earlier her true unhappiness and lack of self-confidence about her body. She wanted help and I don’t feel like I always offered her that…perhaps because it has become such a taboo subject or perhaps because of my problems with my own body image. What makes me even sadder is that the root of her unhappiness (like many people) was tied to her body and her weight.

Perhaps her pseudo-confidence was an attempt to hide or escape discussion about her weight…and she has good reason to feel that way. They ways in which we talk about size/weight in our society are atrocious, dangerous, and damaging. When individuals begin tying their self-worth to their bodies, they see their outward appearance as a representation of not just their successes and failures, but who they are (If this statement interests you, read “Perfect Girls Starving Daughters”; it’s amazing).

“Fat” is not who Becky is and I never have or never will see her like that. I believe Becky is absolutely beautiful…and not in the “beautiful on inside and out” way, because really, that’s bullshit and no one likes hearing that cliché. It suggests that the beauty on the inside makes up for the lack of beauty on the outside and that’s not how I see Becky. While, yes, she is a “beautiful person on the inside” with a heart made of gold, she is also physically beautiful. I hope she realizes that both now and when she begins to lose weight. She will be just as beautiful then as she is now; there is no number on a scale that can take that away from her.  She taught me that. When I was suffering some severe body image problems, Becky made the jump, unsure of how I would respond, and talked to me about it. She did what I should have done for her.

I know she is doing this for her future and health, not just because society tells her she needs to lose weight (she’s always been good at dismissing societal norms). I hope she finds love, but I hope she finds that it exists for the right reasons. I hope a year from now the past ex-boyfriends and potential ex’s that came in and out of her life look back and regret walking out on a great thing. Not because she lost weight and now they see her in a new light, but because they realize they had the problem, not her. They were the ones so unsure of who THEY were and that they couldn’t and didn’t fully appreciate who she was/is. I hope the love she finds appreciates and welcomes the trials and tribulations she went through to get to where she will be. I hope they look at old pictures of her and say, “you were just as beautiful then as you are now”.

As this journey unfolds, I hope the stresses caused by her body image disappear. I hope she gets upset over issues completely unrelated to her body, I hope she cries about them like she has in the past over her weight. I hope she  goes days, weeks even, without worrying about her weight or her body. More importantly, I hope she soon sees what I’ve always seen: a strong, beautiful woman. (Are you tired of hearing that yet, Becky?) Because Becky is someone I strive to be like, someone I admire, someone I look up to. For her to fully understand where my admiration comes from, she must first love herself as much as her friends and family love her.

All of this has got me thinking, though. 

We, as a society, need to change the way we talk about weight. Fat is not and cannot be equated with laziness and thin cannot be equated with self-control; you will never know where someone comes from until you take a walk in their shoes. But this polar language we have about skinny and fat is the very thing setting us up for failure. Children are growing up believing that power is tied to their body, and women in particular allow this power to exist there because they fear they have no more powerful currency left in the world except our bodies.

I wish weight was not so important in our society. Eating disorders are at an all time high. Eating disorders are so dangerous because they teach people to tune out our internal signals, our wants, and our needs in an attempt for perfection. But what does it really mean to achieve a perfect body while never truly understanding the deeper issues that make us feel as though we need that perfect body? Our perceptions of self should not lie in what our bodies look like, but rather what those bodies can accomplish. People with eating disorders often question their worth in the world and instead of relying on their character and inner-self to define that, they look at their outside selves for continuous affirmation. They become convinced that the only accurate depiction of themselves is outside themselves. Their bodies become their enemy instead of their temple.

Men have it bad in the body image world, too, though. Men have begin to feel the pressure to fit into the mold of what is considered attractive. In the US, one million men have eating disorders (which is a 30% increase since 1972) and I suggest that reported number is inaccurately low due to the stigma of males having an eating disorder. 

The media shows us a very narrow standard of beauty, but if we accepted and appreciated  the sheer variety that bodies come in, women (and men) could focus more engery and thought into real issues. We are all chasing an imaginary body in some way, maybe because we know that “fat” is a societal death sentence. 50% of people polled by ELLEgirl said they would rather be skinny than healthy. Really?! It shouldn’t be that way, but it is and it stems from our misconceptions about what it means to be “fat”. 

How can we change this? I don’t know, it will take a lot of work and change in our everyday language. But we can start small; tomorrow, wear something that you find unflattering, you know, that shirt you bought and never wore because it shows your “love handles”. When you begin to feel uncomfortable in that piece of clothing, appreciate and embrace that feeling. Ask yourself why you truly feel so uncomfortable; what is making you feel that way? You will learn a lot about yourself in the answer.

It's a beautiful day!

Ah, such a beautiful day today. It's funny, last week it was snowing and today it's 70 and sunny. Hmmm...no complaining here, though.

I haven't made a post in a few days, so why not now with a heavy dose of my morning coffee?

I don't really have any news that I care to comment on, so I'll just babble.

The question I've been asked a lot is: what made you a feminist? To that, I can't offer some specific turning point in my life when I woke up one day and said, "I know! Let's try out feminism!". It was nothing like that. I was privileged enough to be brought up by liberal parents that always made sure I knew that different was okay. Sometimes, I like to call my mom a feminist, though I doubt she would self-identify with that label. Regardless, she definitely laid the ground work for me to become the activist I am today.

Since I can remember, the big thing that she stressed to be was that to be gay was okay; it was not a choice, but biology. One time, in 3RD GRADE (that's like 8 years old, people) my teacher told the class that homosexuality was a choice. I knew better and the next day my mom loaded me up with articles to take to my teacher so that I could argue my case. I will never forget that day. Everyone in class made fun of me and called me a lesbian simply because I was fighting for something I knew was wrong. Now, I was in 3rd grade, so of course it bothered me to get picked on for simply doing what I felt was right, but somehow I knew it was worth it. Let's flash-foward a bit....

I was engaged at an early age (18!). Call it a mistake, call it naive, call it dumb, but it changed my life in more ways than one. I was engaged to my high school sweetheart. Where I am from, it's southern and conservative. After high school you're supposed to get married and have babies. Not to say that there weren't people who constantly broke that mold, but the mindset of many was focused on being a housewife. Looking back, it's funny, because I almost fell into that hole. After I graduated high school (we got engaged shortly after) and began growing mentally, I was looking for ways to define myself. Who was I? I made the mistake of defining myself by my fiance, by my significant other. I was okay not being Erin, but rather so-and-so's fiance. I didn't have much of an identity outside of him. In my sophomore year of college we ended it and I was left feeling lost and confused. That's the damaging part of tying your identity to others: when they leave, you have no real sense of self. I didn't know who I was or how to define myself. 


For no other reason rather than to gain credit hours for school, I picked up Intro to Women Studies the semester after we broke up. I loved the professor (spunky, spunky, spunky!), I loved the material, and I loved being around the people interested in that stuff. I continued to take other WGST/WMST classes. I will save the sappiness of when I found the professor that changed my life, changed my thoughts, and provided me all the tools I now have to assess woman's issues, but there definitely was an amazing professor within the program that I owe the world to. Thank you, Lorelei. 


What made me fall in love with feminism, aside from the fabulous professor, was that I finally felt that I had something to define myself by. I had an identity and it was as a woman, not as someone's woman. Everything about feminism is liberating. We have better sex, we are more empowered, we have higher aspirations, we aren't as restricted, and we fight for YOU. I don't see feminism as just for women. Men need to realize that what we fight for will help break the gender roles men are forced into, too. Because quite frankly, men may have a lot of power, but there are also dangerous gender roles for men that are contributing to a larger reality, such as the rape culture and domestic violence. Men are being taught that they must be big, strong, emotionless, a provider, macho, etc, etc, etc. It must be exhausting to have to put on a "tough-guise" (Thank you, Jackson Katz!) every day. But it doesn't have to be that way. Since I have become a feminist I am much happier. I am not going to fall into the trap of being a housewife, I don't feel like shit when I'm looking through a beauty magazine, I can recognize what is REALLY being said about women (And it's not pretty, ya'll.), I don't like pink just because I'm told I should, I don't put up with sexist stereotypes, I care less about what the world thinks about me, I sure as hell don't define myself by the man I am with, and did I mention feminist have better sex?

Since then, I have found a wonderful boyfriend who accepts me as a feminist, which can be hard for men. I'm not generalizing, just saying. Men can be intimidated by the power I take (no one is ever given power, you must take it). But he supports each and every thing I do...and he is usually right by my side through it. He gave me the encouragement to protest against a local restaurant that offered an offensive drink ("Roofie Bomb", really?!), he wore a "Got Feminism?" shirt with me when we both went to hear Gloria Steinem speak (My life is complete, by the way.), he speaks out when he hears sexist rhetoric...he's fabulous. But, I feel like what Justin and I have is completely different than what my ex-fiance and I had. I am able to appreciate Justin because I am not tied to him; he does not define me. He is not my identity, but rather someone who is helping make my identity more....ME. The truth is, he helped me become the feminist I am today by showing me my individuality and encouraging it. 


So all in all, I thank my mom, my boyfriend, and my professor for who I am today. My life could have seriously taken a wrong turn, but it didn't. I can't help but to believe it was because I am destine to help women, speak out, learn more every day, and teach others to do the same. Oh, and never get engaged at 18. Just don't do it.

This just in: Women LIKE abuse!

Last night, as I was watching the evening news, a story came on about domestic violence. Apparently, this woman was convicted of murder years ago when her abusive husband was killed. Thing is, she didn't even shoot the bastard, her son and friend did. Whatever the specifics are, it's not important. What I am more interested in pointing out is what the deceased man's brother (Andy) said in regards to the domestic violence. It's sickening. See the bold.

Convicted murderer says she deserves a pardon

YORK COUNTY, (SC) – The following is an emotional story that has people talking about whether domestic violence should be taken into account during the prosecution and/or sentencing of a murder case.

Clara Childers says it should be.  She will be 76 years old this summer.  She was convicted of her husband's murder and served 20 years in a Greenwood, South Carolina prison for his death.  She got out on parole in 2000.  She remains on parole now.

"He would beat me badly.  I would run between him and the children, because he would beat me first and then he'd beat the boys," she says.  "I wouldn't have survived.  Because in the end [before he died], he had gotten harder and harder and he would've eventually killed me.  He really would have."

Andy Childers says domestic violence shouldn't be a factor in deciding the sentencing of a murder case.  Andy is the 70-year old brother or Raymond Childers, the man Clara was convicted of killing.  Andy says he doesn't believe in a man beating a woman but in Clara's case, he says, she deserved it.

"She's a troublemaker," he said in a sit-down interview.  "She brought all that on herself. She brought everything on herself. When she come in and start cussing and he was high tempered… he would have to whoop her to make her satisfied. She liked it."

Clara's case has twists and turns and family history that goes back decades.  But the facts are this:  She and Raymond married in 1960.  He was murdered in 1978, shot in the back while lying in bed.  She says at first she took the heat because her son and one of his teenage friends were really the ones responsible.  In the 1980 trial, her son and his friend said she had paid them to do it – contract murder.  She maintains that's not true.  Didn't matter.  All three were convicted and sent to jail.  In an appeals trial three years later, the boys' story changed.  They said she hadn't paid them.  The verdict didn't change.  Clara Childers remained sentenced to life in prison for first degree murder.

In 1993 a domestic violence bill passed that allowed inmates who could document abuse, to come up for parole every year, instead of every two years. In 2000, Clara was let out on parole and told to go to Florida.  She went to Florida to live with family.  Months later, she asked for permission to move to North Carolina – she says she had a cousin there who could get her a job in a diner.  Both states agreed. 

Once in North Carolina, Clara asked for permission to visit family in South Carolina.  North Carolina permitted her to go for a visit.  Once in South Carolina, Clara says the South Carolina Probation, Parole and Pardon Board told her she had to move back to the state and couldn't stay in North Carolina. "I don't know why she ever left Florida," says Andy Childers.  "I don't think she should've been allowed to leave Florida.  That's just not right."

Clara says she doesn't want to be any trouble.  She says since being on parole she has never done anything wrong.  She says she pays her $50 a month to the state's Probation, Parole and Pardon Board, and just hopes someday they'll give her a pardon. 

"I'm just tired," she says.  "I'm an old woman. I hate to ask you can I move, can I go to North Carolina and spend the night with my cousin?  Or, my son?  Will I ever get to make a decision for myself?!?  I was controlled for twenty years by a man, and now the past thirty I've been controlled by the system."

A month ago she went up before the P.P.P. Board for a pardon hearing.  Clara had to pay a hundred dollars to get the hearing.  At a yearly salary of $7600 a year from social security, she says she can't afford to ask for a pardon every year. 

"I won't accept money from my kids to pay for this pardon hearing," she says.  "I want to do this myself."

After a decade of parole, Clara says she felt confident this year a pardon would be granted.  She was wrong.  After a seven minute hearing where both she and Raymond's family spoke, her pardon was denied. 

We went to Columbia to ask the board spokesman why it was denied – no reasons are given to the applicant.

Peter O'Boyle told us that the board puts great weight in the testimony of victim's family member.  He also said he wouldn't answer questions about any specific case.  He told us if we had specific questions we could ask the chair of the board – Karen Walto of Tega Cay.

So we went to Walto's house.  We asked her if she'd be willing to talk with us about this case, at a later time of her choosing.  She agreed, asking for a few days to review Clara's information.  We agreed to meet three days later.  The morning of our meeting, O'Boyle called us to cancel the interview saying Walto would not be discussing the case with us at all.  No reason was given.

Andy Childers says no discussion is needed.  "You never pay the debt," he says.  "You can't go back out there and pick that man back up out of the grave."

But Clara says she'd really like someone to listen to what she has to say.  "I just don't understand when it will end," she says.  "I'm still being controlled and it's just unreal to think it will never end.  I didn't have a chance back then to go to a shelter.  I didn't have that choice.  I had to live with my abuse.  Because like I said… I'd take warrants out for his arrest and with the good ol' boy network, they'd just put them in a drawer and never serve them.  The system wouldn't help me then, and it's holding me back now."

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? She ASKED FOR IT? Andy, you ignorant idiot, you're part of the problem in the United States today. Do we really have men thinking women are not only asking to be abused, but as he claims, they LIKE IT? Wow. I could go into depth about the dangerous rhetoric he has just spouted out, but I'd like to think my audience is smart enough to understand why what he said is not only wrong but extremely disturbing. What kills me even more is that he says he doesn't "believe" in a man beating a woman. Really? Because that's not what you just said...Oh, WBTV, why did you air him? One step forward, two steps back.

Inspired by Becky

Well, well, well. I never expected I'd create a blog, but when a best friend of mine started one, it kind of inspired me. I (always) have a lot to say and not many people who care to listen, so maybe this will be a good thing to have.

A lot of what I think and talk about pertains to equality, feminism, peace, woman's issues, the media, and our everyday (damaging) language. Notice above I used the F-word. Yes, I am a feminist. Don't like it? Stop reading right now. But please, please, please don't think that just because I am pro-woman means I am anti-man. Real feminists understand that the fight for equality can help men just as much as women. Perhaps I should say I'm a humanist? Anyway...

So, I graduated college in December (2009) with a B.A. in Communication Studies and a minor in Women and Gender Studies. The job search since then has been horrendous. First off, it's important to know I'm a climber. Rock and ice. I do a lot of mountaineering and alpine climbing as well. With that being said, I love my free time. Some of my mountaineering trips last up to 21 days. Who the hell is going to let me take off 21 days from a job? No one, that's who. So I suppose you could say I'm being a little picky with my job search, but in all honesty, no where is hiring, not even Starbuck's. I hate living in the real world. Like, a lot. More than a lot. I want to just climb, hike, and go to school forever. Either that or find my dream job. I want to work with women and that's all I know right now. I know I'm expected to know exactly what I want to do with my life, but really, I'm 22 years old. Bleh. I enough about jobs, it only gets me upset. I do plan on returning to school in 2011 to pursue my Master's (In what? I don't know). Maybe by then Justin will have won the lottery and I will never have to work. I can just climb forever.

I'm going to make sure I post lots of pictures, links, and quotes (I LOVE quotes). So be ready, blogosphere, I'm here.